Just A Man

Just a Man

by Joshua Silva

I used to be a very mean man

The kind of man nobody really wanted to know,

but nobody could escape

The kind of man that took comfort in empty liquor bottles

and broken down whores

I used to be a very holy man

The kind of man full of questions on his tongue

and God in his heart

The kind of man who took solace in nature

and the wholeness of beauty

I used to be a very lonely man

The kind of man who hid from the world

yet always yearned for touch

The kind of man who lived alone

and feared eyes of joy

I used to be a very social man

The kind of man who kept the company of friends

and passionate lovers

The kind of man that shook hands with a smile

and deeply embraced others

I used to be a very dying man

The kind of man who gave up on living

and sought peace in death

The kind of man who fondled razor blades and pills

hoping one bloody slip could bring silence

I used to be a very living man

The kind of man who roamed the earth

in search of every new thing

The kind of man who valued experience and truth

at the expense of any risk

I used to be a very quiet man

The kind of man who shied from conversation

never choosing to be recognized

The kind of man who grew nervous in a crowd

hiding shaky hands

I used to be a very loud man

The kind of man who always had something to say

and a point to be made

The kind of man who believed in revolution

screaming freedom in every deaf ear

I used to be a very hateful man

The kind of man who smiled when others wept

delighted by misery

The kind of man who would break a lonely heart

just so I could feel my own

I used to be a very loving man

The kind of man who only wanted joy for everyone

and cared deeply for a stranger

The kind of man who cried for the anguish of others

wishing to mend the heart of the world

I used to be every kind of man

But men will always love

and men will always hate

Men will always live

And then men will always die

I used to be every kind of man

But today I am just a man