What You Can't Have

What You Can't Have

by Joshua Silva

You don't want freedom

You want something else

Something a little more safe

Something centered on self-...

Righteousness.

Zombie Love

Zombie Love

by Joshua Silva

Some day we'll be zombies together

We'll revel in the death of our flesh forever and ever.

Our sanguine hearts eternally picked apart

By the rotting hands of our wicked love.

One day we will die for each other.

Rise again to devour the bones of our mothers

Blood will run when death craves some fun

The bitter thrill of our infernal desire.

This is zombie love

To kill the ones you love

This is zombie love

The love you die for

Again and again

Some day you'll take hold of my heart

Tear it right from my chest and rip it apart

I'll steal one last kiss before undeath and bliss

On that unholy night I will die for you.

Our last breath will be our first

Our hunger will become our thirst

For brains and skin and the darkness within

The key to your heart was always in the dying.

This is zombie love

To kill the ones you love

This is zombie love

The love you die for

Again and again

Just A Man

Just a Man

by Joshua Silva

I used to be a very mean man

The kind of man nobody really wanted to know,

but nobody could escape

The kind of man that took comfort in empty liquor bottles

and broken down whores

I used to be a very holy man

The kind of man full of questions on his tongue

and God in his heart

The kind of man who took solace in nature

and the wholeness of beauty

I used to be a very lonely man

The kind of man who hid from the world

yet always yearned for touch

The kind of man who lived alone

and feared eyes of joy

I used to be a very social man

The kind of man who kept the company of friends

and passionate lovers

The kind of man that shook hands with a smile

and deeply embraced others

I used to be a very dying man

The kind of man who gave up on living

and sought peace in death

The kind of man who fondled razor blades and pills

hoping one bloody slip could bring silence

I used to be a very living man

The kind of man who roamed the earth

in search of every new thing

The kind of man who valued experience and truth

at the expense of any risk

I used to be a very quiet man

The kind of man who shied from conversation

never choosing to be recognized

The kind of man who grew nervous in a crowd

hiding shaky hands

I used to be a very loud man

The kind of man who always had something to say

and a point to be made

The kind of man who believed in revolution

screaming freedom in every deaf ear

I used to be a very hateful man

The kind of man who smiled when others wept

delighted by misery

The kind of man who would break a lonely heart

just so I could feel my own

I used to be a very loving man

The kind of man who only wanted joy for everyone

and cared deeply for a stranger

The kind of man who cried for the anguish of others

wishing to mend the heart of the world

I used to be every kind of man

But men will always love

and men will always hate

Men will always live

And then men will always die

I used to be every kind of man

But today I am just a man

Stand Up

Stand Up

by Joshua Silva

In the hearts of your children

In the minds of your old

Some are on fire

While some have grown cold

And it doesn't matter

How old you've grown

You will either stand up

Or sit down when you're told

You will either stand up

Or do what you're told

In the eyes of a stranger

In the hands of a friend

Comfort and fear

Can defeat you in the end

And you can either fight back

Or die where you stand

Searching for justice

In an unjust land

Fighting for freedom

With chains on your hands

If you're a soldier

Or just a man

Your greatest weapon

Is not found in the hand

It's deep in the heart

Where no army can march

It's your love of freedom

And it's yours from the start

It's your right to freedom

And it's yours from the start

Mothers and Fathers

Be mindful to seek

The wisdom of children

And the dreams that they keep

And be sure that you guard

That spark in their heart

For this is the place

Where change gets its start

This is the place

Where Revolution starts

Sojourn

Sojourn

by Joshua Silva

I will not be bound by civil restraints

Nor kept complacent by patriotic ideology

I will not sacrifice dreams nor freedoms

For the luxuries of wealth

Or the comforts of security

I will not believe in impossibility

Nor be lead to hopeless abandon

Simply because other men are afraid

Of touching the stars

I will reach for the Sun itself

I will not let the signs of Fate

Become as passing road signs

Observed from rear view mirrors

Rather I will softly kiss her lips

And become the dream of her lover

Destiny shall be the compass

By which I am lead to her poles

And love shall be the map

By which I plot my course

And beauty the final destination

Fear will not deter me

From absolute freedom

From absolute fulfillment

Of Desire

And of Will

In Agape, abundance

In Thelema, truth

I now go to the End of the World

Echappée Nocture

Echappée Nocture

by Joshua Silva

Do you recall all that beauty we saw

As we left on the rail that night

The moon was high but my spirit was low

Until I saw you sitting 'neath that moon's light

My heart jumped and I knew at once

Everything would be alright

If someone so free, someone so true

Could flash like lightening in my life

With the crack of thunder and beauty of heart

Someone like you, someone like you

I've always been searching for you

For you, for you, for you

We spoke for hours, we spoke so long

We knew we had to go somewhere

Where we had to go was really no concern

Only that we had to make that journey there

I would have gone anywhere

I should have gone anywhere

With you, with you

With you, with you

I still remember that look in your eyes

Like you found magic in some distant land

And I still remember your sweet embrace

When you caressed my face with those angelic hands

I can still taste your lips

I can still taste your lips

What a cruel God that must be out there

To bring us together only to tear us apart

Or maybe it's a kind God

That teaches Love lives only in the heart

No matter how near or how far

Forever and forever together we are

Forever and for ever

Till death do us part

For better or worse

Our love is our heart

Our love is our heart

But everything is alright

If, baby, just for one night

Everything is alright

Tonight

We're shining so bright

So bright, so bright

So bright, so bright

We're in Heaven tonight

Tonight

New Moon

New Moon

by Joshua Silva

When I see the Half Moon

I am reminded that I am only half a heart

Reminded that I am only half a soul

While we are so very far apart

When I see the Full Moon

I am reminded of the Man I will be

That our love will make us whole

When the night comes that you are near me

When I see no Moon at all

When it is hidden from my view

I am reminded that I am Nothing

Nothing without you

Rest

Rest

by Joshua Silva

Under moonlit skies,

Only you and I,

To touch your lips,

To kiss your eyes,

Under clouds of gray,

Wet with rain,

To caress your body,

To hold you again,

Under burning sun,

United as one,

To lock in embrace,

To never be undone,

To gain these dreams

And so much more

There is nothing less

I could ever settle for

You are the most beautiful jewel

Crown of the Earth

You are rare and priceless

Beauty of the highest worth

In my life I want nothing more

And many men have died for less

But for you I lay down my sword

To you I give my life until death

For your love has made me strong

Stronger than any man could be

But this strength is not for war

But to endure this Fated journey

And should Fate be kind

She will make your breath

Like wings to fly me

Into your beautiful arms

Into your beautiful eyes

Into your beautiful heart

Into your beautiful night

And there I will lay my head so softly upon your chest

And it is there, after so many battles,

After so long a journey,

It is there that Fate shall grant me...

Rest

The Jewel

The Jewel

by Joshua Silva

Like the morning dew

Is blessed to know

The beauty of a rose

So to was I blessed

To know the vision

Of her perfect beauty

Blessed to have known

The gentle touch of her lips so soft

Against the roughness of my own

If only even for a single moment

Blessed to feel her love hold to me now

Though I cannot feel the embrace of her arms

No greater dream have I known

Than the dream of her beauty

No greater hope have I held

Than the hope of our love united

For this hope and this dream

There is no battle I would not fight

There is no distance I would not travel

For this hope and this dream

I would give everything

And pay any price

There is nothing in this life

Of greater value

Or of more precious beauty

Than just the sight of her

There is no treasure in the sea

Which could diminish the worth

Of the sweetness in her touch

Deep in her heart there awaits

The rarest treasure of them all

Deep in her heart there rests

The Jewel of her sacred love

My Dear Julie

My Dear Julie

by Joshua Silva

If there ever was a strangers face I could look upon

It would be yours the moment before we both moved on

And went about our fateful journeys

Instead of moving on I would have followed you

Anywhere you go, to the end of the world, or even just Peru

It could have been heavenly bliss

But we'll always have that kiss

And our great unknown

Eyes so open

Hearts so naked

Connections to miss

A world to be shown

Here's to hope

And all that is sacred

Life has taught me that you should never look back

But I can't help seeing you back on that railroad track

And I became a pillar of salt

In the end, when it's all said and it's all done

We still live, love and die both under the same sun

And that's a comfort to me

But we'll always have that kiss

And our treasures in the sea

Souls shining bright

Spirit soaring free

Our great unknown

Our world to behold

Never doing what we're told

Just two lives lived beautifully

My dear Julie

You and Me

You and Me

by Joshua Silva

There is a long road ahead

That separates me from you

But hope has never been so close

As it is now that I found you

Love has never been so near

As it is when you're loving me

And a dream has never been so real

As the dream of what we can be

You are an Angel come to rescue

Me from all this misery

You are the Grace which puts to rest

All my fear and uncertainty

So I lay it all down and leave it behind

And take another step closer to you

I let my walls come crashing down

Because I know that your love is true

And if you take a step toward me

And I keep on moving to you

We'll come together

To show this crazy world

What Love can really do

To show this crazy world

Love is True

Love is Free

Love is you

Love is me

Love is us together

Love is our destiny

Love is forever

Love is you and me

Love is you and me

Forever and ever

You and me

To the Girl Who Stole My Heart...

To the Girl Who Stole My Heart...

by Joshua Silva

To the girl who stole my heart...

I'm coming back for it

And when I do

I'd be happy to share it

If you would share yours too

To the girl who stole my heart...

You haunt my every dream

Sleep has become bliss

When your lips so tender

Return for one more kiss

To the girl who stole my heart...

The truth is I gave it to you

It is all I had to give

To you who are so beautiful

To you for who I live

To the girl who my heart belongs to...

Thank you

...for taking it from me

...for giving it shelter

...for keeping it warm

...for giving it hope

...for keeping a dream alive

Thank you...

It is forever yours

And with my heart

So too comes my soul

So too comes my love

To the girl who holds my heart...

When I find you again

I do not come seeking my own heart

For it belongs only to you

But rather I come seeking your heart

The only thing my eyes desire

The only thing my soul has known to be

So wonderful...

So beautiful...

So true...

And so free

To the girl who stole my heart...

I love you

Fate is a Whore

Fate is a Whore

by Joshua Silva

Fate. Fate is a deceitful whore. A perfect throbbing cunt whose wet seduction dissolves the Will of even the strongest of Men. She promises softness, beauty, completeness, destiny and peace and then besets the path to such greatness with the most treacherous of obstacles. Her's is the laughter of the condemned, echoing madness against stone walls. Yet, her breath is the breath of lovers heavy with passion, then silent in the breathlessness of her ejaculations fulfillment. To fall into her gaze is to go selflessly to her promise and be sure that her promise is a harlot's prick tease. For the warmth of her bosom and the sweetness of her womb do not come without a price. From you she will demand everything and what you refuse to offer, she will simply snatch from trembling hands.

Do not refuse her and she will spread open herself with abundance unto you. Do not fear for your life and she shall give of hers completely. She will become as a lover, naked and vulnerable, bending to every desire, obedient to every want. Yet do not be mistaken, she is neither the submissive servant or the naivete of a maiden's youth. She is wild and untamed. She is both cruelty and wisdom. She is both truth and lie. As beautiful as the supple breasts of virgin flesh, as withered as a beaten crone. Her kiss sweet and moist, her bite so sharp and jagged. Beware her mouth around the cock of your desire if you have not paid her price. For she is Fate, the deceitful, treacherous, wise, and tender whore.

Mistress

Mistress

by Joshua Silva

Spinning, spinning spinning,

Around, and around and around,

Couldn't see which direction I was heading,

Didn't know I was falling down.

That Mistress I call Misery

She caught me by the balls

Brought me to my knees,

And forced me to her mouth.

Shattered Reflections

Shattered Reflections

by Joshua Silva

I met myself in the midnight

I searched his eyes, touched his face

He gave me a drink

And something to think on

It was clear that he was

A stranger in this place

I heard his plea and Revelation.

So I took him by the hand so cold

And like Pilate, the pharoahs,

The kings, the emperors,

And the Holy Roman Caesars of old

I lead him to Golgotha and to the Cross,

To the trainyard, and to the Showers.

Where he wept and bled

Mourned and wailed

And died within hours.

I wasn't sad for him,

Though he never rose again.

His hands were idle sinners

But his work could never end.

Branding My Life

Branding My Life

by Joshua Silva

The sum of my experience has become a branded image seering through all that I percieve.  

Claiming ownership, dominion, absolute control.  

There are times I have relived the scarring.  

There are times it is as if places, people, situations continue to burn themselves deeper into who I am.  

It is these times I am paralyzed, captivated by my own pain, in complete submission to the iron as it's twisted symbol pushes it's way deeper through my skin.

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit

by Joshua Silva

Forbidden fruit,

But I didn't care,

Because I knew what you wanted,

When I first got there.

I could see it burning in your eyes,

I could smell it in your hair.

You were forbidden fruit,

But I just didn't care.

Beautiful Temptress

Beautiful Temptress

by Joshua Silva

She calls

Through the night she calls me

Whispering seduction

To my soul she calls

If I had the strength

I could refuse you

Resist you

Deny you

Betray you

But instead I welcome you

Sweet seduction

Beautiful temptress

Poison me with your lips

Destroy me with your words

I welcome you

I need you to kill me

Like I need to kill you.

Loving you is killing me

Is killing you

You're nothing now

A single memory amongst a thousand

Haunting memories

Of a thousand lovers

Washed away and broken

Along the shores of my life

Submission

Submission

by Joshua Silva

This isn't about love.
This is about submission.

This is about an empty mind straying too close to the edge.

This is about the rolling waves of sorrow breaking against your heart.

Ripping you to pieces while comforting your soul.

No more restraint.

 No more holding it back.

No more pretending to be a friendly face.

This is about the mask wearing you.